October- the beginning of the end for the year, and what really ticks me off about it...
October is that sort of mysterious month in my opinion. The days are getting shorter, the trees are losing their leaves and Mr Grimshaw at number 56 gets out his leave blower again. However this month strikes a nerve with me regarding certain things.
The three things that tick me off about October:
First one: HALLOWEEN. Yes it happens in Britain too. Personally I can do without it. October 31st is when the ne'er-do-wells really get moving. First they bang on your door, demand sweets and if you don't give them any: they egg your house; on the other hand if you do give them some, they still egg your house. And that's only one of the GOOD points! Trick-or-treating has never been in my good books. Little kids asking for sweets and other goodies, it makes me want to vomit! Thanks to Dunblaine we can't use guns to keep these little B*993*s away from our property any more! I suppose we could always use barbed wire. I always spend that day laying traps and landmines to keep the crowds away just in case my "BEWARE OF THE T-REX" sign doesn't work. Quite frankly those creeps don't deserve any treats- FOR GODS SAKE WORK FOR IT! And the eggers? Meet my friends the pumpkins! (I think you can see where this one is leading!) That usually keeps 99.999999999% of them away! As for firebombers I just call the police, or my Aunt Gladys. The latter option is usually more effective. And if all else fails I just resort to my collection of James Last records, that usually clears out the whole country!
Secondly: CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS IN THE SUPERMARKETS. Oh for goodness sake it's too early! Take them down and don't put them back up until the 1st of December! Ahem. Anyway I usually do my Christmas Shopping the January before.
Finally: EVERYTHING ELSE. The title is pretty self-explanatory.
That's my rant over. Now if you'll excuse me I have to juggle the plant pots.
October is that sort of mysterious month in my opinion. The days are getting shorter, the trees are losing their leaves and Mr Grimshaw at number 56 gets out his leave blower again. However this month strikes a nerve with me regarding certain things.
The three things that tick me off about October:
First one: HALLOWEEN. Yes it happens in Britain too. Personally I can do without it. October 31st is when the ne'er-do-wells really get moving. First they bang on your door, demand sweets and if you don't give them any: they egg your house; on the other hand if you do give them some, they still egg your house. And that's only one of the GOOD points! Trick-or-treating has never been in my good books. Little kids asking for sweets and other goodies, it makes me want to vomit! Thanks to Dunblaine we can't use guns to keep these little B*993*s away from our property any more! I suppose we could always use barbed wire. I always spend that day laying traps and landmines to keep the crowds away just in case my "BEWARE OF THE T-REX" sign doesn't work. Quite frankly those creeps don't deserve any treats- FOR GODS SAKE WORK FOR IT! And the eggers? Meet my friends the pumpkins! (I think you can see where this one is leading!) That usually keeps 99.999999999% of them away! As for firebombers I just call the police, or my Aunt Gladys. The latter option is usually more effective. And if all else fails I just resort to my collection of James Last records, that usually clears out the whole country!
Secondly: CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS IN THE SUPERMARKETS. Oh for goodness sake it's too early! Take them down and don't put them back up until the 1st of December! Ahem. Anyway I usually do my Christmas Shopping the January before.
Finally: EVERYTHING ELSE. The title is pretty self-explanatory.
That's my rant over. Now if you'll excuse me I have to juggle the plant pots.
posted by Number Seven at 2:42 PM
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