The Human Race...my evaluation of it and various other inane comments of no apparent use or value...
Physiology:
The humans, the Latin name for this species is Homo Sapiens. It means "Wise Man", though that is a point currentlu up for debate, go figure. Humans come in a multitude of skin colours, though some people with brains the size of a pea think that one skin colour is better than another. Such idiots aren't worth the trouble of telling off. Also they come in two sexes, Male or Female. However some have ended up as both, but let's not go into details. Infant humans are often not toilet trained.
Behaviour:
Most humans are very badly behaved, especially the males, like me. A good deal often walk down to their local pub, get stone drunk and come back either in a taxi or a police car. Some females have been known to mimic the behaviour of males however, some call them tomboys, I call them plain irresponsible. Humans who abstain from the consumption of alchoholic beveradges, like me, are called teetotallers, or arrogant gits with no sense of fun.
Some human behaviour, including getting one's self utterly sozzled, is affect by our average lifespan. Though this is more than most species, many consider 80 years or so to be too short. Hence the "Life's short so I'll grab all I can before I die!" attitude. This leads to these notable human traits: Selfishness, arrogance, hate, fear, want, capitalism, rudeness, arson, crime, murder, religion, terrorism, gold rushes, war, anti-Greenpeace movements, spite, cruelty, fury, rage, anger, ruthlessness, torture, the monarchy, animal extinction and cinema hotdogs. Those of course, are the good points.
At the opposite end of the scale, are sucidal tendancies. This comes from realists who've accepted their fate, and have adopted a "Life's short, so let's just PUT ME OUT OF MY [CENSORED] MISERY WILL YOU!" attitude. The best way to do this is to shoot yourself in the head, vote Conservative in a Liberal Democrat community or jump off a really tall building. However religious fundamentalist crackpots say this is a sin. Ignore them.
So my evaluation of the human race: 3/10. Nature hates us and now she wants us to go. Let's listen to her shall we? I would. Afterall we wrecked the place so she should be angry.
I think I made myself clear.
Physiology:
The humans, the Latin name for this species is Homo Sapiens. It means "Wise Man", though that is a point currentlu up for debate, go figure. Humans come in a multitude of skin colours, though some people with brains the size of a pea think that one skin colour is better than another. Such idiots aren't worth the trouble of telling off. Also they come in two sexes, Male or Female. However some have ended up as both, but let's not go into details. Infant humans are often not toilet trained.
Behaviour:
Most humans are very badly behaved, especially the males, like me. A good deal often walk down to their local pub, get stone drunk and come back either in a taxi or a police car. Some females have been known to mimic the behaviour of males however, some call them tomboys, I call them plain irresponsible. Humans who abstain from the consumption of alchoholic beveradges, like me, are called teetotallers, or arrogant gits with no sense of fun.
Some human behaviour, including getting one's self utterly sozzled, is affect by our average lifespan. Though this is more than most species, many consider 80 years or so to be too short. Hence the "Life's short so I'll grab all I can before I die!" attitude. This leads to these notable human traits: Selfishness, arrogance, hate, fear, want, capitalism, rudeness, arson, crime, murder, religion, terrorism, gold rushes, war, anti-Greenpeace movements, spite, cruelty, fury, rage, anger, ruthlessness, torture, the monarchy, animal extinction and cinema hotdogs. Those of course, are the good points.
At the opposite end of the scale, are sucidal tendancies. This comes from realists who've accepted their fate, and have adopted a "Life's short, so let's just PUT ME OUT OF MY [CENSORED] MISERY WILL YOU!" attitude. The best way to do this is to shoot yourself in the head, vote Conservative in a Liberal Democrat community or jump off a really tall building. However religious fundamentalist crackpots say this is a sin. Ignore them.
So my evaluation of the human race: 3/10. Nature hates us and now she wants us to go. Let's listen to her shall we? I would. Afterall we wrecked the place so she should be angry.
I think I made myself clear.
posted by Number Seven at 11:04 AM
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